Be free, have fun, ask why">

Riesling had ballet (which is half an hour away) this morning at 9:15.  After waking up at 8:15, Joe and I raced through our morning routine, but Riesling and I were still 10 minutes late.

I stripped off her street clothes and yanked on her ballet slippers.  I held her hand as we hurried to the room where her stern teacher, Miss Susan, was leading the class in their warm up routine.  Riesling very quickly found her spot in the circle and immediately apologized to Miss Susan for being late.  All on her own.  I try very very hard not to prompt her or Cashel to say insincere formalities to people.  I try very hard to let my “good” example be their guide.  If we are in a situation that I feel warrants greetings or expressions of regret, I will step forward and say hello or apologize to both the adult and to the child.  Possibly Riesling has seen and heard me do this enough and sees how much people appreciate it, she finds it worth doing too.

So I went out and waited with a couple of other Moms, one of whom homeschools their youngest child.  We got into discussion about why teens make choices and the different ways that we as parents (me as a foster parent to my sisters) have dealt with their choices.  There was much talk of obedience and intolerance to backtalk as well as conservative views of expressions of sexuality.  The teen who was the subject of heartache and hardship was dealt with in this manner.  He is in mid-revolt.  I want nothing more than to avoid the backlash and anger that I felt from my sisters and that this Mom is feeling from her adopted son.  I am so glad that I try (this means that I don’t always succeed) to work with my kids and try not to dish out consequences for noncompliant behaviors or actions that only I think are important anyway.  Please read from There to Here for elaboration on this topic.

Riesling was done with her class soon enough.  We investigated a frozen puddle in the parking lot and then went to the post office to mail some letters.  I’m working on being more patient with Riesling’s slow as molasses approach to getting into her carseat and buckling up.  I think I took one step backward as I tried to convince her that she should just wait in her seat instead of unbuckling and coming with me (because it would just take too long) while I ran to the mail slot and threw my letters in.  In hindsite, I think that I should have worked with and not tried to convince.

We drove down the road and she asked if she could get some ice cream.  She had a dollar, so I said sure, even though it was 28 degrees outside.  I realized that it was $2 plus tax after I told her we would be stopping to get some and didn’t think the angst over my forgetfulness would be worth the extra $1. We had the same car seat discussion with the same outcome and the same hindsite revelation.  I walked 20 feet from the car to the window and got her a single scoop of Kline’s Peppermint Ice Cream in a cup with a spoon.

I drove to the Downtown Harrisonburg Farmer’s Market.  I had packed Riesling’s snow pants and boots since last week she froze as I made my purchases.  She decided that she wanted to stay in the van with her ice cream.  I turned it off, locked it and made sure that I kept my eye on it while I shopped.  I made a trip back to the van as I purchased something from each vendor to drop off my goods and to check on Riesling.  On the second to last trip, she said that she was done and wanted to get out of her car seat and come with me.  I wiped her off and we went to see what gifts we could find for Christmas.  We found some fantastic local goods and Riesling helped me count out 30 of them while she held the bag.

We stayed downtown and went to Ragtime Fabrics to get some material.  Riesling enjoyed feeling the different textures of the fabric and playing with a few toys they had set aside.  On our way out, there was a bin that had yard sticks in it with a sign that offered one for free.  I picked one out and Riesling carried it to the van.

Next stop, Kate’s Natural Products.  I selected a black bean and avocado wrap from the deli case and gave us each half after we sat down at a table.  Riesling went to use the single restroom, which was in my line of site.  She was taking quite a while, so I went to check on her.  I knocked and asked if she needed any help.  She asked me to come in, but I couldn’t because the door was locked.  I asked her if I should go get the key and she said, “No.”  After a few minutes I saw the door open and she came and sat down.  The next thing I knew there was talk between a customer and an employee regarding the bathroom needing attention.  I asked Riesling gently if she had trouble with the toilet and it flushing.  She said that she did.  I let her know that it was ok.  The employee came rushing up to another employee dramatically saying something about a wad of toilet paper stopping up the toilet.  They were quite close to us and the other employee looked around.  She stopped her gaze on me and asked if there was something wrong.  I wear my thoughts on my face.  I stood up and went over and said that I thought I knew what might have happened with the bathroom and apologized for any mess ahead of time.  We walked in and the toilet was unflushed, but hadn’t overflowed or anything really gross.  I gave it a few quick plunges and it was taken care of.  I washed my hands and went and sat back down.  I asked Riesling to please let me know if she has trouble with the potty flushing so that I can go and fix it.  After we finished our lunches, I gathered a few bulk items while Riesling sat or laid on the floor.  She appeared very tired.

I got her back in the car and we went to Walmart.  I pushed her around in the cart.  We ran into some folks whom we had gone to church with.  Riesling immediately began to play with the two little girls, hiding in and under the clothes racks, laughing all the while.  After she was back in the cart, we checked out and drove to our next stop.  On the way there she suddenly told me that 12 plus 12 was 100.  I started with 12 and then counted up 12 more using my fingers to keep track until I got to 24.  I said 12 plus 12 is 24, 50 plus 50 is 100.  She then said 5 plus 5 is 10.  Then she counted out 11 plus 11 to get to 22.  I had started to count with her using my fingers and she said, “Stop, Mom.  I want to do it myself!”  I stopped.

At Martin’s, tired Riesling rode in the cart while I got a few items.

On the way home she asked me for the yard stick.  She counted out the inches and I told her that was a yard stick and that Cashel was almost exactly as tall as the stick was long.  She asked me how tall she was and I told her that she was 43 inches tall.  At first she thought that was 34 inches.  I asked her who was taller, her or Cashel and she said that she was.  I asked how she could be 34 inches and Cashel could be 36 inches.  She figured out that wasn’t correct and I reminded her that she was 43 inches tall.  She wondered why her height wasn’t on the stick.  Then she measured her leg and her arm and informed me of all the things that she could reach in the van with the yard stick.

Finally we were home.

I gathered up our stuff and Riesling and I opened the door and went inside.  Joe said we’d better shut the door so that the house didn’t get cold.  It was a booby trap!  They had stacked yogurt containers and there was a weight and string involved.  When Riesling shut the door, the yogurt containers came tumbling down on her.  Cashel and Riesling thought that was just so funny!  Cashel showed me the weight and that it was heavy.  He also showed me how he had lined up all of the cat food cans in a boomarang kind of pattern.  Joe said that they had wrestled and sword fought then entire time we were gone.  He said that he had pulled down an electronics kit and Cashel was most certainly not interested so it was back to more physical activities.

After I put the groceries away, I thought a “treat” snack might be fun.  I had purchased some gluten free Gingerbread and some Chocolate Chip cookies from our fellow Funschooler, Clint, at the Market, as well as some Popped Amaranth Balls from Marlin (our CSA supplier).  We laid down our plaid blanket that we use for indoor picnics and put on A Charlie Brown Christmas.  Then we watched The Year Without Santa Claus.  The kids seemed to enjoy both shows.

Riesling put on a dancing outfit and prepared for a performance while Joe conjured up a magic trick and Cashel played.  Riesling then did a little show that incorporated her best attempts at imitating the dancers who were on pointe in the Nutcracker.

At dinner, Joe showed how he could make a paper towel turn into a sock with yogurt containers.  Riesling tried to create the illusion as well.  We also talked about the rules that we had all agreed upon.  Joe wrote them down and we specifically addressed a new clean up rule.  Riesling said that everyone should clean up right after they are done playing with something.  We tabled the proposal until tomorrow since it was really late.

Riesling decided to wear Cashel’s pajamas under her nightgown.  When they were changed, brushed and washed, I read Silly Sally Went to Town by Audrey Wood.  Joe sang to Riesling and I reassured Cashel when he called for me that I was “right here” and it was time for sleep as I stood by his bedroom door.

Minutes later they were resting their brains and bodies in preparation for tomorrow’s adventures.

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